Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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