nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize