Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize