i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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