Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
