Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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