My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
