If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
