is your mom at the bar?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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