One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
