best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
