we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
