so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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