You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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