Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
