i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
