Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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