Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
