I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think my vagina is haunted
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
