update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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