filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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