you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
