you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
