She said her name was "party"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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