This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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