And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize