I got chris browned last night
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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