i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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