Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
