Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
