also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
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you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
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You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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