you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
