You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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