She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize