We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
