Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I feel like a drive thru vagina
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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