I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
