I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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