I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
