giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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