Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize