Im at strip club and am horny
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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