wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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