So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize