We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
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She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
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Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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