evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
