she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
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I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
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I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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