How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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