It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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