I am puke
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
