At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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