Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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