i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
