Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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