the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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